Authoritative Parenting using the Discipline Model
Authoritative parents take the following approach to the components of discipline.[i] They . . .
- Are devoted to building the parent-child relationship with the primary goal of developing their child’s character and competence.
- Are appropriately responsive to their child’s needs.
- Unselfishly demonstrate loving care for the child.
- Monitor their children’s activities and know their whereabouts.
- Are both demanding and responsive. They integrate and balance high levels of responsiveness with high levels of demandingness in ways that are beneficial to children’s development.
- Require mature behavior within the child’s range of ability, and base demands and prohibitions on their child’s attributes, abilities and developmental level.
- With power-assertion demands, they accompany their demands with explanations to help the child understand the parent’s concept of appropriate behavior.
- Use reason and discussion to obtain compliance and are willing to negotiate when they deem their child’s objections to be reasonable.
- Model what they preach in areas such as self-control, generosity, and appropriate behavior.
- Encourage individuality and independence.
- Praise worthy behavior and achievement
- Are warm, responsive, and support the child’s autonomy.
- Show respect for their child in all their actions
- Are warm and understanding of their child’s perspective.
- Logically connect their corrective sanctions to the consequences of their child’s actions.
- Don’t hesitate to criticize their child’s actions that require change.
- Use behavioral control that is overt and confrontive aimed at achieving compliance with their directives; rather than being covert and intrusive.
- Willing to use appropriate disciplinary spanking when necessary to achieve behavioral control and confrontive discipline.
- Refuse to use manipulative forms of behavioral control, such as psychological control, coercive power, wounding words, and harsh physical punishment.
Because authoritative parents are warm, responsive and autonomy-supportive as well as power-assertive, their children are motivated to restore family harmony by complying or else by constructively dissenting in an effort to change their parent’s mind rather than to defiantly or evasively disobey.
[i] Adapted from Baumrind D. “Authoritative Parenting for Character and Competence.” found in Parenting for Character: Five Experts, Five Practices edited by David Streight. 2008. Council for Spiritual and Ethical Education. ISBN: 978-1-881678-76-2.